Monday, September 26, 2011

A writing exercise

I've been in the mood to write something lately but don't want to become invested in a lengthy project since I am busy with school, and will only continue to get busier as the year goes on. But I felt like writing and so I wrote a very brief, angsty entry based on a real situation that I now wish I had dealt with differently.




Her gaze was downwards, on an angle, as she came out of the coffee shop. She was shoving the receipt in her purse at her side and so she didn't notice him at first. Successfully tucking the receipt away, she turned her head upwards and nearly lost her stride as her eyes immediately locked onto him.

He was still a ways down the street but was coming towards her. He was walking with a girl and didn't seem to have seen her yet. They weren't holding hands, she noticed, but he was speaking excitedly with her and his laugh barreled up the sidewalk towards her.

She hadn't realized how much she had missed his explosive laugh until just then.

She tipped her sunglasses off their perch on her head and onto her eyes. Dark, black. She glanced briefly at the sun, thanked it for shining, thanked it for making her protective sunglasses necessary. She immediately felt more at ease. Her shoulders relaxed and her stride loosened. She hadn't realized she had been walking so stiffly until she wasn't anymore. She took a sip of her coffee and eased into a casual gait.

They were almost upon each other. He hadn't seen her. Although she appeared to be looking straight ahead, behind her shades her eyes were slanted towards him, observing his every move, sizing him up, analyzing the situation.

But what for? They were going to cross paths and he wasn't going to notice her at all. She would slink past undetected.

Then suddenly, unexpectedly, he tilted his head towards her, away from his companion, and his sentence stopped short. He was almost directly beside her now, their arms nearly touching as they walked in opposite directions down the street. She heard him start to speak. "Hey--" he said, but it was clipped, because no sooner had he spotted her had she jerked her head away from him, looking at the storefronts, forcing herself to be completely absorbed in the exorbitantly priced purses tucked away inside the shops. Her walk became jerky again and she felt her ears go hot.

His voice was deep, rumbling. She hadn't realized how much she had missed his voice until just then.

"I know her," her straining ears heard him say to the girl he was with.

No. That was a lie. He didn't know her. He knew what he wanted to believe of her but that didn't make it the truth.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and her heart nearly pounded itself out of her chest. The blood rushed to her face as months of anxiety flooded to the surface. She turned slowly to face him. He was smiling.

"Hey! How are you?" His tone was cheerful, carefree. The pain of the past half a year hadn't affected him, it seemed. Or hadn't happened to him.

"I'm... good," she replied guardedly.

"I haven't heard from you in a long time," he continued. "What's up with you these days?"

Her brow furrowed. Her lips turned downwards. Anxiety was replaced by anger and all the things she had wished she could say to him -- all the angry, hurtful things he deserved to hear -- rushed to her lips.

She swallowed her words. She shook her head and, peering at the two of them approaching her on the street, coming closer and closer, she decided she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to be near him. She wasn't ready to endure a potential conversation with him, however pleasant. She wasn't ready to let him see her pretend to be okay with what had happened between them. Mostly she still hoped that if she didn't ever see him again, she could erase him from her memory.

She pressed her sunglasses to her face and clutched her coffee before hurrying off away from them. Perhaps he hadn't seen her at all. He never really had.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Love in war

I am currently reading The Postmistress by Sarah Blake. I am just over halfway through and so far I am completely enthralled. It is the kind of story that makes you think. Set in Franklin, Massachusetts and London, England (and, to a lesser extent, other European cities) during the early 1940s, it is a story of war and love in war. And the senselessness of war.

I plan to do a review once I finish the book, which I hope will be soon. But the history nerd in me is absolutely loving this story so far.

I am almost finished my dreaded summer class. The final exam is due tomorrow at noon. No, I haven't started yet. I'm not too worried. It's only 1200 words (4 pages), and I have all night and tomorrow morning to do it. Plus, being a take home, I have the advantage of being able to refer to the textbook where necessary.

Perhaps that is in part why I am so unmotivated to work on it.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I'm gonna make a brand new start of it in old New York

New York was meh.

It was busy, and crowded, and stressful. Perhaps this was partially my own fault for not budgeting my time well, but I felt like I was constantly running around. For example, on our second day we decided to go to the American Museum of Natural History (which actually was awesome), Central Park, 5th Avenue, and Yankee Stadium. While AMNH, Central Park and 5th are all near one another, they are all large and involve a lot of walking. The end result was that I didn't see all the exhibits I would have liked to at AMNH (luckily it was pay by donation, so I didn't fork out $16 to see 1/5 of the museum), power walked through Central Park and didn't enjoy the stark contrast of it between the bustling NYC the way I otherwise would have, and raced down 5th. Then we went back to the hotel to drop things off (not that I bought much, just RayBans), and rushed to Yankee Stadium. Basically, it was not an enjoyable experience. Friends have suggested returning in the future, now that I know what to expect, and maybe planning less and/or staying longer. It's definitely a good idea, but if I didn't enjoy it the first time, and I have the money to spend on a vacation, maybe I should go somewhere new I don't have a negative impression of.

What did I enjoy? Well, AMNH, like I said, was amazing and cool and informative. I particularly liked the people exhibits, and the marinebiology hall. Yankee Stadium was also incredible, and the Yankees smoked the Rangers 12-4, Sabathia pitching. Although there was a rain delay, and it spit intermittently throughout the  game, the atmosphere in the stadium was exciting, and supportive of their team. Coming from Toronto, which an ESPN report declared has the lowest fan satisfaction rating of all the MLB teams, it was refreshing to go to a city where the team actually does well, fans actually care, and seats are actually sold out -- regardless of weather! It's unfortunate that the Jays are so poorly supported... and that they do so poorly.

Back to NYC, we actually didn't do much, which is why I'm so surprised by how exhausting and busy the experience was. We landed in LaGuardia (worst flight ever. Dry heaving = bad.), checked into the hotel, which was on Queens Blvd in Long Island, then took the subway directly to Times Square. The closest subway station to us was 33-Rawson, and it was super sketchy. Dirty, and metal partitions to divide paid and unpaid areas that looked like a mix between a cage and a prison. As I realized later, many of their station have these barred partitions, but that doesn't make it any less intimidating. Times Square was packed, and a total sensory overload with a zillion lights, stores, people, cabs, honking, and advertisers trying to convince me to go to their comedy shows. The Naked Cowboy was there too. We grabbed food and walked up and town Times Square, doing some shopping and taking some pictures. Then we headed back to the hotel to watch game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals, which sucked and I fell asleep in the middle of.

Day two, as mentioned, we went to AMNH, Central Park, 5th, and Yankee Stadium. We also had the most epic lunch off a food truck (Toronto -- get on that shit!): an amazing chicken gyro outside Central Park. En route to Yankee Stadium, we needed to transfer from the 7 line to the 4 line that goes north to uptown and the Bronx. When we got to Grand Central, our transfer point, a 4 train was already at the platform, but so packed people seemed to be bulging out the doors (welcome to New York), so we decided to wait for the next train. The next one came, and I realized after we got on that it was not only an express train, but the wrong one. We'd gotten on the 5 instead of the 4. This wasn't really an issue thanks to my amazing public transit skills, and we got off at the closest stop to Yankee Stadium, before the 5 line splits off, and just waited for a 4 train to take us the rest of the way.

Day three: We subwayed to Times Square again, then walked to Avenue of the Americas and visited the NHL store. I was surprised by the complete lack of Canucks gear, especially since there wasn't all that much Bruins swag either. They did have quite a variety of teams though, and to Mike's great pleasure they had a bunch of Devils stuff. This makes sense, of course, since New Jersey is so close, but Mike always has such a hard time finding Devils paraphernalia in Toronto, which is, unfortunately, Leafs Nation. I debated buying a Pens henley (like a baseball shirt), but it was kind of expensive so I decided against it. Then we walked to Macy's, wandered around briefly but were overwhelmed and had nothing particular in mind that we wanted to buy, so we left and walked along 34th where I did a bit of shopping and bought Birkenstocks. We continued along to Broadway, and then walked all the way down Broadway to Canal Street. Yes, holy shit, what an adventure. Along the way we passed Madison Avenue Park (not sure of the name, possibly making that up entirely), which I initially mistook for Central Park and was epically confused. We passed by Union Square, which I recognized from that Jennifer Lopez movie The Back-up Plan, and was a little too excited about, especially given the amount of crowds that were there. We hit up the Converse store, which was a complete disappointment for me, since they didn't carry yellow Chucks, and then didn't have teal ones in my size, went into a random store where I found yellow Chucks, and then continued along to Canal Street, which we walked up and down a couple times, bought some fake shit, and then found a subway and headed back to the hotel. We planned to nap and then go out to a bar for Game 7, but we ended up sleeping a bit too late, and then showering took too long since we were both dirty and sweaty and disgusting from our NYC walking marathon, and ended up staying in the hotel again and ordering pizza. Which was good, because Game 7 also sucked.

Day four we slept in, then went to LaGuardia.

What I learned while in New York City:
  1. Takeout is called carryout.
  2. Nobody pays attention to traffic lights. If there is a break in traffic, people walk across. Even if there isn't a break in traffic, people walk across. And if someone is paying attention to the lights, they aren't paying attention to their own. They're watching the other lights, and walking across the instant they turn yellow.
  3. They don't sell Gravol. They sell an equivalent called Domamime, I think. It saved my life on the return flight.
  4. EVERYONE has a Yankee accent. I mean everyone. Even if they don't appear to at first listen, like the announcer at Yankee Stadium who was advertising birthday parties at the facility, they will say something where this accent slips out. In the announcer's case, she said "hawt dawg".
  5. Americans drink their beer warm.
  6. All menus list calories.
  7. Escalators don't exist except in Macy's. Not even the subway stations have escalators, despite there being 849029351035 floors you need to go up or down to transfer subways/get to the street.
  8. Any kind of food you could possibly want can be bought off a truck.
  9. At any given time you will hear sirens and horns. They may be close, they may not be, but they are constant.
  10. New Yorkers love their Starbucks. There's a Starbucks on EVERY SINGLE CORNER. Amazing.
  11. Only people from New Jersey and cabbies are crazy enough to drive along 5th.
  12. New Yorkers love their Snapple. I remember having Snapple as a kid. Then it disappeared off the face of the planet. Apparently it all went to New York City. Snapple is everywhere. Food trucks, restaurants, corner stores... Some guys near us at Yankee Stadium were discussing peeing in bottles in desperate situations, and the one guy specifically mentioned peeing in Snapple bottles. I will never understand this Snapple obsession. I like Snapple, but holy shit. (Since returning home, Mike found Snapple somewhere, somehow, and brought me one.)
Pictures will be added to this post as soon as I upload them onto my computer. Which might be a while.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

There's a fire starting in my heart

Last night was game one of the Stanley Cup Finals series between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins. Overall it was a poorly played game, with goalies Roberto Luongo and, especially, Tim Thomas running the show. But with 19 seconds left in the third period, with an OT seeming imminent to break the 0-0 tie, Raffi Torres scored a beauty (Kesler to Hansen to Torres). Yeah, I kinda lost my shit. Heartbreaker for the Bruins though; at 19:41 of the last period, they really had no hope to even come back from that 1 goal deficit. Watch that first and final game-winning goal here.

#ruintheBruins!!

I also LOVED the opening montage CBC's Hockey Night in Canada aired just prior to the start of the game. Featuring Adele's Rolling in the Deep, I was immediately intrigued (I love that song), but was surprised just how much this fairly mellow song pumped me up. Great scenes featured for the intro -- props to the editor.

On Saturday I will be going out with some friends to watch game 2 in a sports atmosphere. Stoked!

#3more! #3more! #3more!


In unrelated news, I am leaving for New York in 10 days. With my luck, of course, I have a midterm exam scheduled for the day I fly out. Luckily my prof was nice enough to allow me to reschedule and write it before I leave. He asked me to remind him closer to the date, so I emailed him about 2 days ago, thinking he would need that time to arrange a place and time, and prepare the exam itself. He told me to let him know even closer to the date. I'm getting anxious -- I need to know when I'm writing it, since I have work and stuff! Since I'm pulling day shifts from June 9-12, I will probably need to trade one of those away in order to write the exam, and I obviously should take care of that sooner rather than later. Just stressed!

Today I plan to get both last week's and this week's readings done, and then I'm going rollerblading by the beach :D exciteddd!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Tweeting Tuesday

Been a while since I last blogged. Here we go.

Today I went to my first Jays game of the season (I know, about friggin time!). We fell 6-3 to Cleveland in game 2 of the series -- an irritating loss given that yesterday we smoked the Indians 11-1. Also, I'm inclined to believe Cleveland allowed the Jays a mercy run, since Indian right fielder watched the ball fall. Arencibia errored, and just overall sucked tonight; Nix was 0-4 on his at-bats; and Morrow consistently threw fast balls (good going on those calls, JP) which the Indians kept cranking into outfield. Not the greatest game I've ever been to. Next time, boys.

However, today was also Tweeting Tuesday at the Skydome (YES, SKYDOME). This encourages fans both at home and in the stands to tweet @BlueJays with the hashtag #tweetingtuesdays. Fans at the Skydome can Tweet songs they want to hear (and win prizes if their song is picked), add funny captions to pictures from previous games (and win prizes if their caption is best), and tweet pics of Jays merchandise they like (and win that item if their tweet is picked).

So, I won a hat! I tweeted a picture of my friend's hat, which I love, and uploaded it onto Twitter, and won.


This photo was taken off the Jays' Twitter account, and taken with the employee's BlackBerry, so the quality is pretty subpar. BUT I WON A FREAKIN HAT!! I don't even care that the Jays lost the game now. We got on the board, and I walked away with free swag.

Speaking of swag, I am leaving for New York City in 13 days, and will be there for games 6 and 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. To rep my country, my hockey pride, and the team I want to win, I'm determined to buy some Canucks gear and wear it in the Big Apple. A friend also offered to loan me her Nucks hat, since she has a jersey she can wear. I may take her up on that offer.

And in other hockey news, Winnipeg is back in the NHL baby!! Not quite the Jets, but I'm glad Canada has another club. It's about time!

Oh summer. Baseball, hockey playoffs, and flipflops <3

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Onward and Upward

Tear. Photo courtesy of mjs big blog.
Last night the Canucks beat the Preds in game 6 to move on to the Stanley Cup semi-finals. Carrie Underwood cried over the Preds', and hubby Mike Fisher's loss. I adore Carrie Underwood, and so for a split second I felt bad that Nashville was out. Then I got over it.

Go Nucks go!

In other news, the Jays are playing like shit, losing last night to Detroit 10-5. Hope to see a turn around soon!


Recently, I found A Very Potter Musical, and I spent all of today watching that, A Very Potter Sequel, and Me and My Dick. The Very Potter plays are Harry Potter parodies, and the last is just crazy and crude, but they are all brilliantly hilarious and created by the Starkids. For any Gleeks out there, Darren Criss ("Blaine") plays Harry Potter in AVPM and AVPS, and contributed to the songwriting of both plays. If you haven't seen these works of genius yet, please take several hours out of your day to watch all of them in their entireties. Also, keep an eye out for Joe Walker ("Voldemort", "Umbridge", "Dick"). HOT.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams are Made Of

48 days until I leave for New York City!

I booked the flight and hotel today, and am leaving in about 15 minutes to get my passport picture taken.

I'm only going for 4 days, 3 nights, but I'm incredibly excited.

I'm not really big on all the touristy things, so I plan to just do a bit of sightseeing. I plan to go to the MET, Natural History Museum, Central Park, Time Square, and Rockefeller Centre, and of course shopping at Macy's, 5th, and Canal Street. I also would love to go to a Yankees game, but tickets were sold out online. Hopefully I can hit up a scalper outside Yankee Stadium!

Mostly I'm just excited to visit the City that Never Sleeps, that concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's a Beautiful Day in this Neighbourhood

The weather was gorgeous today. Absolutely beautiful. Sunny and warm, though a bit windy. Today was the first day of the year that I didn't need a jacket, and it was an awesome feeling. And man it felt great to wear my Chucks again!

I took advantage of the weather by going to Jack Astor's and sitting on the patio with a friend, and then walking to the mall. In the summer spirit, I tried to find a dress with pockets, and though I found a few I wasn't overly satisfied with any of them. I plan to keep looking. That, and fun, flirty tank tops, are my summer clothing goals.

On my way home, I walked the 45 minutes from the subway to my house to soak up more Vitamin D. Although my feet hurt now, since it's been about 8 months since I've done so much walking, I was glad to have gotten out of the house.

Can't wait for summer! <3

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Land of Painted Caves

Today I finished reading The Land of Painted Caves by Jean M. Auel. It is the last installment of the Earth's Children series, and is set in prehistoric times. The main character, Ayla, is an orphaned Cro-Magnon girl who is taken in by the Clan of the Cave Bear, a group of Neanderthals. The series outlines Ayla's trials as she struggles to find a place to belong in the world.

I began reading the series when I was quite young, perhaps around 13, because my mom had read them. When this last book came out, I was incredibly excited to finish the series and bought it nearly right away, although I am generally opposed to buying hardcover novels.

I have to admit that I was incredibly disappointed. Please note that, if you are interested in reading the story, there will be some spoilers below.

I found that the story, in general, lacked plot. Ayla and her family seemed to be constantly on the move, on a type of journey, but always to do the same activities. While Auel tried to change it up with hunts and natural disasters, these events were covered within a matter of pages, and then forgotten. It wasn't until the end that I found that anything exciting began to happen, and then, of course, there was the predictable falling out between Ayla and her mate, Jondalar. To top it off, Auel solved their problems in exactly the same way she has solved other problems in previous books.

The characters themselves, most notably Ayla and Jondalar, are flat and, in my opinion, poorly developed. In the fanfiction world, Ayla would be called a Mary-Sue: a predictable, boring, and "perfect" character, with few flaws and none of which are major. Everything works out for her, with minimal or no effort on her behalf. In the interest of artistic creativity, Auel has credited Ayla with many inventions and concepts, for example taming animals. While I would normally find this completely acceptable, it only adds to the "perfect" idea of Ayla, this orphaned girl who is extremely lucky.

Additionally, I found the book poorly edited. There were a great deal of typos, and at one point a paragraph was duplicated nearly word for word a few pages after I first read it. Auel also discusses Ayla's accent in great length, bringing it up in detail every single time Ayla meets someone new -- which is often. There are other constant repetitions, which detract from the story and add length to an already long (and boring) novel. I found myself skimming for many pages at a time, tiring of the constant retelling of the same idea, just at another point in their travels. I also don't personally like Auel's writing style, which I find basic, bland, and predictable.

I do, however, admire the great amounts of research that must have gone into this story, and the series as a whole. Auel discusses medicinal plants in extreme detail, as well as design methods the Cro-Magnons may have used to build both basic and unique items. I imagine that this was no easy feat. I also liked the reappearance of some former characters, despite how unrealistic that may seem.

I give this book a 2 out of 5. I would recommend this novel to anyone who has read the rest of the series in its entirety, just to culminate Ayla's story. Otherwise, I think this book is one that can probably be skipped.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Good Hurr Day

Yesterday I found this YouTube clip giving me a tutorial on how to create mermaid waves in my hair. I wasn't hopeful because my hair is extremely fine and never holds curls. In high school I tried on two different occasions to perm my hair, neither of which held. For my grade 8 graduation the hairdresser curled my hair using half a bottle of mousse and a ton of hairspray, and while it held the curls were definitely falling flat by the end of the ceremony (which was short -- it was grade 8).

This is my hair naturally:
Aside from the clip, of course, I have done nothing to it. Fresh out of the shower, air-dryed, product free. Just a quick comb and voila. As you can see, it's pretty limp, and very straight.









Using the techniques from the tutorial, I achieved this:
I allowed my hair to air-dry after showering, and then used the flat iron. I used a bit of mousse to (attempt) to keep it in place. Although I don't like that you can tell there's mousse in it, I'm very impressed the waves even held.









More pictures:
in the boyfriend's car

getting more picture evidence of the successful waves
















The waves did begin to fall flat, as you may be able to tell from the photos. In the first picture, the waves are much more distinct than in the final webcam ones, which I took several hours later. Although I was impressed with the results, I feel like my hair looks incredibly dry. My hair is clearly not used to being fried to shit from a flat iron. If I were to try to achieve this look again, I'd consider using a heat-protecting serum and perhaps a leave-in conditioner for the tips, which look particularly fried. Might also help if my hair was a bit longer. I liked that it made my hair look like it had more volume. All those bank tellers were impressed with my hair fo sho (yes, that is the only place I went today. The waves were purely a result of boredom -- not necessity for an event!)

Beastmode

Enough with the heavy!

As I'm sure many of you are aware, we are currently in NHL Beastmode. The current Round 1 standings are as follows:

  • WEST
    • Vancouver Canucks lead Chicago Blackhawks 3-1
    • San Jose Sharkes lead LA Sharks 2-1
    • Detroit Redwings lead Phoenix Coyotes 3-0
    • Nashville Predators lead Anaheim Ducks 2-1
  • EAST
    • Washington Capitals lead New York Rangers 2-1
    • Philadelphia Flyers lead Buffalo Sabres 2-1
    • Montreal Canadiens lead Boston Bruins 2-1
    • Pittsburgh Penguins lead Tampa Bay Lightning 2-1

Although the Penguins are by far my favourite team, they are crippled without Crosby and Malkin. Also they've been playing like shit (although Tampa has been also. Stamkos could demolish the entire Pens team single-handedly if he ever decided to show up for a game). Unfortunately I have little hopes for them. Even if they make it past the first round, they'll be eliminated in the second.

As a replacement for my beloved Penguins, who I realistically acknowledge have no hope, I am cheering for the Canucks! Last night the Hawks won their first game of the series, to start closing the gap. Apparently, this led to mass hate via Twitter on the Canucks fans. I was actually confused by this. What's the deal?? Are Nucks fans douchebags or something? Arrogant maybe? I actually have no idea. I never got that impression. But, from what I hear, it was overwhelming. Weirddddd. Regardless, I'm rooting for Vancity.

The Jays also beat the Yankees last night in the bottom of the 10th. I missed the game, unfortunately, and will probably miss today's too. Boourns. What I can tell you is Brett Cecil is pitching. Go Jays! #beastmode


On a completely random note, I will be starting work soon. I am torn. As much as I am enjoying my free time, I also like having a disposable income slash money to pay for tuition. I work at an amusement park. Next week I'll need to start going in for pre-season meetings, preparation, and training. In addition to training my staff, I will also need to learn a new point-of-sale system, since we've upgraded from the piece of shit we've been using the past 3 decades. There are also a lot of changes to the park itself, with new attractions and new operations. Exciting, in some ways, but also daunting. It opens in only 24 days.

The "Real" Story of Columbine?

The other day I found this, an article describing "the real story behind Columbine."

It started on Twitter, when @OMGFacts tweeted that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the gunmen, were not bullied but were themselves the bullies. I was enraged by this, and was determined to find the source of their "fact". A Google search brought me to the USA Today article.

I find the article troubling. The author states that Harris and Klebold were not bullied: where is the proof of this? The article's evidence comes from the boys' journals, in which they discussed "picking on freshmen and 'fags.'" While this is bullying behaviour, it is not isolated. Bullying is never isolated. Something sparks it, and who is to say that it wasn't brought on by bullying Harris and Klebold experienced themselves?

Mental health issues are also a factor, as the USA Today article acknowledges. However, the article stigmatizes mental illness. Quoting an author who wrote on the attack (not a psychologist, mind), the article says that Harris was "a cold-blooded, predatory psychopath -- a smart, charming liar with 'a preposterously grand superiority complex, a revulsion for authority and an excruciating need for control.'" While this all may be true, it nevertheless places a negative connotation on mental health. If this is true, then Harris should have been helped. If he was truly struggling with such issues, can the blame rest completely with him?

Finally, I think that the article is trying to shift any blame away from the victims of Columbine and place it entirely on Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. I think this propagates bullying with the implication that some people will lash out violently regardless of whether or not they were bullied (or suffered from mental illness), therefore people should bully others since it won't make a difference. This is obviously ridiculous, and I believed it was common knowledge that an event such as the Columbine shootings could not be an isolated situation until I realized how many people were eating this shit up. There are always other factors to something like this, whether it is mental illness, or bullying, or childhood abuse, or what have you. It is absurd to try to fit this into a cookie cutter explanation that disregards any other factors.

I am not at all trying to suggest that what happened at Columbine wasn't tragic. It was. I remember coming home from school and seeing it on TV. I remember feeling afraid for the students that were, at that time, still trapped inside the building. I remember feeling relieved when they began to emerge. I remember sympathizing again with the friends and families that suffered losses, and injuries. I remember crying during an Oprah episode years later when she interviewed survivors of Columbine, and watching them struggle to recount the traumatic episode. It is tragic. It should be commemorated. But it shouldn't be disregarded as a case of a psychopath and his minion. Because that's not at all what it was.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Facebook-less

A few days ago, I deleted Facebook. This was a big step for me since I am constantly checking my newsfeed (damn you, Blackberry!) and have been a Facebook user since 2007. I find that although I do miss using it when bored or on the bus, in general I haven't thought much about it. I also find that I am being more productive -- ironic, since school is done for the summer. Instead of checking Facebook, though, I am doing a lot more reading, which I thoroughly enjoy and which I could do more of.

But why did I delete Facebook in the first place, especially since I am such a self-professed addict?

  1. Facebook stalkers. Okay, I'll admit I am (was) one of them, and my stalking skills are largely unrivaled. I can pretty much find anyone I want on Facebook, within the restrictions of their privacy settings, even if they are pretty well hidden. It isn't the fact that people can find me that concerns me -- if that was the problem, I'd tighten my privacy settings and get over it. No, what bothers me is when I have people on my Facebook for work or school, and they "like" EVERYTHING. For example, my status once was "T-3 days." This is, obviously, an ambiguous status that doesn't really mean anything unless one understands the context. A former co-worker of mine "liked" it, which totally blew my mind. Why would they like it? They didn't even know what it pertained to! In addition, this person insists on commenting on everything regardless of the relevance to them. If it wasn't for the work/school aspect, I would delete this person off my Facebook altogether.
  2. Limited profiles. Remember the days when you decided what your limited profile consisted of (meaning, what could be seen), and added people to this category? This no longer exists. Limited profile is now a friend list that you add people to, but not only is there no way to change what these members can see, there is no way for me to even see what my limited profile hides (unless I'm missing something). This is ridonkulous. Ye olde limited profiles would have been perfect for the aforementioned stalker co-worker. Sadly, it is now unhelpful to me.
  3. Rude replies. There is a friend of a friend who insists on commenting on everything in a judgmental, douchebaggy way. They difficult for the sake of being difficult, and this is understandably, I'm sure, frustrating. This person isn't the only one who does it, of course, but perhaps my best example. Facebook is renowned for it. But why deal with it unnecessarily? I have to deal with this particular person regularly through our mutual friend; please spare me in our off-time.
  4. It is all-consuming. Recently my mom joined Facebook. I feel like many people would be completely opposed to adding their mother on Facebook, but I feel like I have nothing to hide from her (she already knows almost everything) and didn't care. In some ways it was fun sharing Facebook with her -- she was partaking in something that was such a huge part of my life. She soon became comfortable navigating around the site and reconnected with old friends she grew up with. Great, right? Wrong. That's when Facebook began to consume her life, too. I felt like anytime she had anything to say to me, it was to tell me about some random shit that had been said on Facebook, or to complain about something Facebook had done (one time she became so angry with Facebook that she shut down the computer and stormed around the house. When my brother -- either brave or stupid -- asked her what had happened, she explained that the comments she was posting were not showing up, then magically, after she tried reposting it several more times, they all appeared. My brother and I both looked at each other, informed her it was a lag, and not at all uncommon. My mother is fairly computer illiterate, also, in case that needed explaining). I felt that I didn't care about her positive OR negative Facebook experiences because, let's be real, they were on Facebook. This not only led me to get annoyed with her, but caused me to reflect on myself. I spent far more time on Facebook than she did (damn you, Blackberry!), although the novelty of it had long-since worn off. But I couldn't help but wonder if I was equally as annoying. Did I also constantly talk about Facebook? Complain about Facebook? Even if I didn't (I'm not actually sure), there was no doubt that Facebook consumed my life. I felt I needed to take a step back and breathe.
Inhale. Exhale. I am still Facebook-less. I'm still alive. I don't need to know what everyone is doing every second of the day. A very valuable lesson, I think.

I have every intention of reactivating my account one day, and probably sooner rather than later. But even if I do reactivate it, I'm hoping that my self-imposed suspension will be a turning point: since I will have learned (am learning) that I can function just fine without refreshing my newsfeed every 3 seconds, I will refrain from doing so even with an account.

Preface

I find that most blogs focus on something specific. Fashion, perhaps, or beauty. These seem to be the most common of the blogs I find. I am neither fashionable nor interested in beauty. Photography also seems to be popular, and some blogs feature stunning pictures. But I am not artistically creative, and that extends to photography.

What this blog is is an outlet.

In high school, I used to write all the time. Stories, mostly, or rather 3 pages of a chapter for a novel I swore I'd finish one day. Since starting university, my creativity has been stifled. I have neither the opportunity nor the time to write anymore, and I miss it. Now that school is done for the summer, I have more time and that old longing to write has returned. The problem is I know that I won't have the time for much longer: I'll be working full time and taking a summer class. So I decided to start a blog. I don't have to invest as much time in it as a novel, for instance, but it will also be ever-present to update when I feel like writing (or ranting, or posting pictures, or just sharing my insight).

So this blog will be a ramble of various things, including but not limited to:
  • school
  • work
  • books
  • music
  • movies
  • sports
  • gym
  • my volunteer positions
  • irritating things
  • funny things
  • drunken things
I'm random. My blog will be too. (also profane. you've been warned.)